Wow, this is a bit of controversy out of nowhere! And we’re dying to hear what YOU think…
A man posted to Reddit this week about a problem he’s having that needs an answer fast! It’s all about his ex-girlfriend, who sadly is dying tragically young. The thing is, his wife… well, she’s not letting a little thing like a terminal illness stand in the way of a lifetime ban on seeing his former lover again! The OP began his story:
“I went no contact with my ex after we got married. I was recently contacted by my ex’s sister because she(ex) has cancer that’s terminal. She’s in hospice. Her sister explained to me that one of my ex’s wishes was to talk to me face to face for something important. They both insisted that it had to be done in person. She wouldn’t explain what it was because she said she didn’t even know.”
The sister didn’t even know? Damn, that’s… What is that? What could the big secret be? Hmm…
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The thing is, this guy might never find out! He explained:
“I told my wife about this, and she told me absolutely not; I cannot visit her. I understand her feelings about this, but this person is quite literally dying. We have to come to a decision, and I don’t know what’s the best thing to do. I’m asking here, and I want to know how other people feel about it.”
Whoa! We had no idea this topic would be so hotly debated, but we’ve seen the comments spilling out onto social media — going wild for both sides!
Plenty blasted the wife for keeping the guy away, even when the woman is dying:
“that woman is beefing with someone who is on their deathbed, embarrassing”
“Incredibly cruel and petty of her”
“Just controlling in general. I never “let” or “don’t let” my partner do anything. It’s their life still”
“shouldn’t wife be curious anyway? what’s the worst that could happen? ex is literally dying anyway”
“if she thinks hes gonna cheat w a terminal cancer patient she’s definitely cheating”
“I can sympathize with the wife, but sometimes in marriage and relationships you have to suck up your pride and realize that your partner isn’t cheating on you or leaving you by having contact with an ex.”
“OP your wife is treating you as less than, based of of fear. Choices made out of fear only ruin marriages, in my opinion. Marriage is a UNION not a dictatorship.”
Others took the wife’s side — or blasted the husband for even asking in the first place!
“Nah I’d divorce him if he went. Congrats, now you lost 2 women. Exes are ex for a reason, keep them in the past. If we’ve been married for years, there’s nothing you need to say to my husband.”
“‘They both insisted that it had to be done in person.’ You can insist that it has to be done via email or phone or sent via traditional letter. There’s absolutely nothing she needs to say to you that can’t be done some other way than in person. If you were already no-contact, it would have been better to set the sister straight right from the start rather than bringing your wife into it and making her the bad guy.”
“I mean, why would he want to go in the first place? That would be a hard no and inappropriate ask in my book.”
“I’m firmly on wife’s side. Like what good could come from seeing her? She tells you she still loves you or some secret reason why you broke up etc-would good does that actually do? You’ve been no contact for awhile, so I see no reason why she’d need to talk to you. Other than her selfish wish to see you one last time and yes dying people can still be selfish and manipulative. You go and visit her, and in a few weeks she wants another visit then what? You keep going and seeing her whilst disrespecting your wife. Is it worth potentially ruining your marriage to see someone from your past?”
“The ‘it has to be in person’ stuff sounds like BS. For that reason alone, I wouldn’t go. Your wife may be insecure, but is this a hill you want to die on?”
But we also noticed a popular third faction — who were convinced there was a lot more drama here the OP didn’t want to share. You know, the type of info that changes your whole outlook! Some folks wrote:
“Why is the husband so badly wanting to do this? What could possibly need to be said that can only be conveyed face to face? Something isn’t adding up.”
“Depends on why she’s an ex tbh.”
“We don’t have sufficient information to give sensible advice. What sort of person is/was your ex? Why did you separate? How did you split up? Amicably? Why did you go no contact? … Then, about your wife: what is her reason for saying no to you going to see your ex? Is it jealousy/insecurity? Or does she have grounds to fear that the visit will affect you negatively?”
“No contact after marriage, but not while dating/engaged… It makes me wonder if there’s more to the story on why the wife hates this ex so much”
Wow. Lot of feelings brought up by such a simple request, right? Which side do you fall on? Let us know your thoughts in the comments (below)!
[Image via Lionsgate/YouTube.]
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