Lala Kent Would Rather Do WHAT Than F**K Ex Randall Emmett Again?! Goodness...

Say what you will about Lala Kent, but you’ve gotta give her credit: she lets her thoughts and feelings be known.

Nowhere was that more evident than this week’s latest Vanderpump Rules After Show. While chatting with Brittany Cartwright about the VPR universe, Lala let slip that she would rather have sex with the most painful kitchen utensil there is than get into bed with her ex-fiancé (and Ocean Kent Emmett‘s dad) Randall Emmett again! Yeesh!!

Chatting with Jax Taylor‘s estranged wife, Lala said she would “rather be f**ked with a cheese grater” than drop trou for the film producer. A CHEESE GRATER?! OMG!! There isn’t a single more painful utensil we can think of in that context. Every single woman reading this just shriveled up into a ball and died! LOLz!!

Of course, the cheese grater quip isn’t new. Lala used it as a direct call-back to something fellow VPR star Ariana Madix infamously shouted at Rachel Leviss not long after her months-long affair with Tom Sandoval was revealed. And now it’s crossing over from its original Scandoval usage to become a viciously shady quip aimed at Randall!

The Give Them Lala podcast host wasn’t done there, either. She went on to say that the clinical way she got pregnant with baby no. 2 via sperm donor was “much more pleasurable” than the way in which Ocean was conceived. Oh, and the device her doctor used to perform the intrauterine insemination was supposedly “way bigger” than Emmett, to boot. Oof!!

After Cartwright joked that the IUI journey was “probably sexier than sleeping with Randall,” too, the 33-year-old said that The Valley star was “100 percent correct.” Then, thinking back to her ill-fated relationship with the 53-year-old film biz exec, Lala added:

“I can’t even think [about it]. I literally sit there and I’m like, ‘What?’ Like, ‘How did you do that?’ My mind, it’s like a trauma response.”

Jeez, Lala! She was seriously on one!

She had Cartwright laughing (and us, too, TBH), but Randall didn’t find any of it so funny. In fact, he thought the comments were so disrespectful that his rep actually reached out to Page Six with a response:

“[Randall] is being the best father possible and doesn’t see any value in responding to disparaging comments. … He’s disappointed as a parent that she would talk about the conception of their beautiful child that way.”

TBH, his rep is kind of right. Lala’s comments were SUPER cutting (pun intended). And since the duo split three years ago now, maybe it’s time to move on, ya know? But at the same time…!!! The circumstances of their split fall entirely on Randall’s inability to keep it in his pants, so, ya know. Reaping ➡️ sowing! Just saying! You can watch the full exchange (below) beginning at about the 8:00 minute mark: