Ben Affleck’s dark side made it impossible for his Jennifer Lopez marriage to work — even despite all her efforts to fix things. Oof.
As Perezcious readers know, the couple was estranged and had been living apart for months before J.Lo finally filed for divorce last week. Apparently, Jenny from the Block never gave up on their romance, even though it sounds like Ben checked out way sooner. Friends told Page Six on Saturday that the singer hoped her husband would join her in the Hamptons for her 55th birthday last month, where she held a lavish Bridgerton-themed party. But he was a no-show — sending a clear signal things were over.
Related: J.Lo’s OBSESSION With Social Media Said To Be Destructive To Ben Affleck Marriage…
Stressing just how disappointing this breakup was, a friend said:
“She loves him, she will always love him, that’s the problem.”
Aww…
Rather than work on their relationship struggles, Ben has reportedly been spending a ton of time around Hollywood, such as at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Sources claim he was spotted there with RFK Jr.‘s daughter Kick Kennedy amid new relationship rumors. The extent of that connection hasn’t been confirmed, but Ben’s decision to step back from his love story with J.Lo was enough for her to finally file. Placing the blame on the Air director, one Hollywood source dished:
“She truly believed this was the greatest love story she’d ever known and she was finally getting her chance at the fairy tale. She just really didn’t stop to consider who the actual man was [in] the fairy tale.”
The confidant noted that the kind of “big love Jennifer believes in” is “not in [Ben’s] DNA,” elaborating:
“Ben has a darkness to him that no other person can fix. [His actress ex-wife] [Jennifer] Garner couldn’t fix it, all the success in the world couldn’t fix it. [Lopez] gave this everything she had; her whole heart. She would have done anything to make this work. She opened herself up to criticism, ridicule and countless naysayers who told her this was a bad idea, that it was doomed, that there was a reason it didn’t work the first time. But she didn’t want to believe it — she truly believed love would conquer all.”
Dang. That sux!
Ben’s ex-wife Jennifer Garner previously called Ben a “complicated guy,” telling Vanity Fair:
“I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”
The Hollywood source now thinks she’s absolutely right, pointing out:
“The thing is, Ben doesn’t dislike this side of himself — the side that needs solitude, that doesn’t believe anyone could ever truly understand him, that is convinced he is his only ally and the only person he can count on.”
Not exactly what you want in a marriage, though! While he’s happy to be a “provider” for his three kids, he just isn’t interested in the kind of romance the Marry Me lead longed for, the insider continued:
“He is proud of the fact that he always has and always will take care of himself. He is proud to be his children’s protector and provider. But he has never — and seemingly will never — give himself over completely to another person. The kind of big love Jennifer believes in, that sort of all-consuming devotion? Ben played along for a while and wanted to be part of it, but it’s just not who he is.”
If only he could have realized all this before they tied the knot!
As for why it took them so long to officially split, another source claimed the Good Will Hunting alum wanted to give his wife time to be seen looking “happy and healthy” throughout the summer before they called it quits. Seems like he always wanted to be in control of the narrative — way more than the public ever realized! As in the reports that he was the mastermind behind Jennifer’s documentary despite making it seem like he hated the project!!
Regardless of that one film, a Hollywood insider — who has known the Shotgun Wedding lead for decades — told the outlet that her love of the spotlight was an issue, too. They added:
“Jennifer can be so thirsty for attention. She could not step out of the limelight even for an instant. Everything has to be photographed and put on Instagram. My heart does feel bad for her. I think Ben did love her. She’s stable, she doesn’t drink, she doesn’t smoke, their kids got along … but she blew it with having to be ‘J. Lo.'”
There was also tension with Jen’s manager Benny Medina, the Hollywood source shared:
“Benny has a stronghold on Jennifer’s life. She needs to take back her life and stop letting others run it for her.”
Yeesh. Ultimately, no matter what Jennifer tried or could have tried to do, this marriage was never going to work. The Hollywood insider believes Ben “feels bad for the pain he’s caused,” but noted:
“He feels bad because he knows she gave it her all, not just for him but for his kids, too. They all bonded. Ben thought he could go along to get along — but people just don’t work that way for the long haul. He was never that good of an actor.”
The shade with that last sentence! Ouch!!
Still, it’s so sad that it took ’em this long to discover how incompatible they really are! Reactions?? Share them in the comments (below)!
[Image via Nicky Nelson/WENN/MEGA]
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